Parenting is challenging—even without tantrums in the mix. When your child is in the middle of a big emotional moment, especially in public, our instinct is often to stop it as quickly as possible. But rushing to end a tantrum can sometimes make things worse in the long run.
So how can we help our children calm down and learn emotional safety?
According to Reem Raouda, creator of FOUNDATIONS and an expert in children’s emotional health, certain phrases can help children feel seen and supported in the heat of a tantrum. These ideas were featured in her article, “I’ve studied over 200 kids—these 7 ‘magical phrases’ can calm any tantrum instantly”.
Here are a few of those phrases, along with some insight from our child therapy team on why they work:
1. “I’m right here.”
Children calm faster when they feel safe and not alone. This simple phrase communicates presence, not pressure.
2. “This feeling is really big, huh?”
Naming emotions helps a child’s brain move from reaction to understanding. It teaches emotional awareness—a skill we often strengthen through play therapy.
3. “It’s okay to feel angry; it’s not okay to hit.”
This sets a loving boundary, validating the feeling while reinforcing safety.
4. “Let’s take a break together.”
Co-regulation—helping your child calm down with you—is more effective than sending them off alone.
5. “I can see how much you wanted that.”
Empathy builds trust and teaches children that emotions don’t need to be feared or hidden.
6. “You can be mad, and I’ll still love you.”
Reminding your child of unconditional love helps them learn that even hard emotions don’t separate the connection.
7. Say Nothing.
This may be the hardest thing as a parent. When your child is in full meltdown mode, words often can’t reach them—their thinking brain has temporarily shut down. Sitting close, breathing calmly, and staying silent sends the powerful message: “You’re safe, and I’m here.”
How Therapy Can Help
At The Lighted Path, our therapists in Edgewood and Albuquerque, NM, specialize in helping children and families navigate emotional regulation and behavioral challenges. Through evidence-based play and family therapy, we help your child develop healthy coping skills and help parents feel more confident during those tough moments.
If tantrums are becoming overwhelming at home or school, you’re not alone.
Learn more about our child therapy services in Edgewood and Albuquerque.
References:
Reem Raouda, FOUNDATIONS: “I’ve studied over 200 kids—these 7 ‘magical phrases’ can calm any tantrum instantly”